confused =s

i've been thinking about doing things. like i'll write on my blog about this, maybe he's reading it and he will know how i feel. but it would just be complicated. am i the one making things complicated? or it really is? i thought of actually talking to the past in order for me to move on. i don't know...it's just plain messy...it's weird.

how can you like someone and still like another person?
love is not just a decision. but it's foundation is built on it.

all the love talk is making me dizzy, with nausea.
what's weirder is that i really care for them to the point that i'm willing to risk my life to save them? drama! or maybe i'll just be lazy..that would be the easy way out. after all they are not doing anything. it won't mean i'll stop caring for them. =p

ayoko na. i'll just stop analyzing too much.

i'm not sure the sparks are still there.
does he actually feel it? i don't know.
does he read this? half of me is wishing he is.
but again, it might just be all in my mind.
afterall, he never did say anything and i think he never will.
too bad. i don't think he knows he's the first guy i really liked and i didn't even know why. hay, let's just not go there. i'm so tempted to confront but i know he doesn't want to. i totally understand. but what will happen? can i wait? the feelings are fleeting. the distance is growing.

(sana di himayin ng mga tao 'to, please don't try to guess the people involved. i don't want that to happen. i just need to vent out all these crazy thoughts that have been bugging me, although i've stayed sane. ako pa, i'm so rational. well, that's what i'd like to think =p )

actually, this is not meant for exposure.
ehehe i just don't know how to make it private.
(uhm, ara? mig? jem? help!) hehe

ok, now i'm better. =) enough of this irrationality.