bittersweet and happy

For some reason, late last night while trying to finish my PowerPoint presentation for reporting in Edu203 class today, I found myself going through old STrains pictures. I had mixed emotions. Seeing the pictures made me smile, giggle, and say "awws" to myself. I was a bit teary-eyed. I saw pictures of my first evsem as well as one of the latter evsems I've attended.

I've changed a lot. From the naive, neneng days full of awkwardness, excitement, sillyiness to the more serious, emotional things and struggles I've experienced with these people. I realized how much I've shared with all of them - the teasing, love teams, petty arguments, crunch times, idealism, crying moments, surprises, high moments, confusion, inspiration, frustrations, passion, the relationships. I've discovered what it means to love, to be a true friend and to be a true person through and with this community.

Sometimes, (or oftentimes) we find change to be a very difficult process. It can get overwhelming. It can be heartbreaking. Through the real conversations I've shared with these people, all the changes and challenges throughout my college life have become bearable and rather inspiring.

I remember the reason why I first joined this organization. I didn't have any expectations. I just signed up because my friend reminded me that this org used to facilitate our group in high school. Little did I know that my simple act of openness will open me to a vast horizon full of memorable, learning and transcendental experiences with good friends. This just strengthens my belief that everything that happens in one's life is not a coincidence but an act of Divine providence.

When you've grown to love something, it's harder to let go and move on. It's what some would call bittersweet. Although I miss college terribly because of my friends, I'm still full of excitement. I realized, I'm not letting go. I may be moving on to more adventures and bigger challenges after college, but my STrains and Ateneo experience will always be part of me, part of who I have become and continue to share with others. I've discovered that I can be more and I can love more. It's not just about the organization anymore (although I admire the cause of the org) but moreover the philosophy I've come to develop because of my experiences in it. I will always be utterly grateful for this. I just hope and pray that STrainers new and old (as well as fellow Ateneans) will continue to experience the magic, magis and love through each other. May we all discover the light within us. Luceat Lux!

;) "to teach profound is to experience the attractions of love"
(In the highest stage of love, the individual forgets about his selfhood and his own desires)

"Education as man's eternal quest to transcend his limitations and to live by ideals instead of being seduced by the idols of immediacy"

"to teach profoundly is to inspire"

bittersweet = beautiful

=)