before sunrise =)

we literally talked before sunrise =) haha well it will be an hour or so before the sun comes up.

finally, habla con Tiago happened ;) although it wasn't planned. i realized he's the spontaneous type sometimes. it was enlightening or reliving in a way. i told him all my hang-ups and he just listened. what i liked most about what we shared was the insight he said about relationships. there's the sexual attraction, "i'm in love" part which we sensationalize and there's the consistent feeling of comfort around that person. i actually remembered that movie "Before Sunrise" that i've watched just recently. I like that thought. I would want to have a connection with the person I would eventually love. It just comes naturally.

Hay....let's just see. I won't feel awkward, blessed be =)

one word i remember before sunrise is when they mention about love being an attempt.

anyways, am sleepy. good night=)

inspired =)

last saturday, i went to the 7 habits of highly effective families talk by Stephen Covey. It is inspiring. I went with my mom, just in time, after she had been feeling bad with family stuff lately.

i should try to apply these stuff in my life. one thing i won't forget is the part where stephen answered the question in the open forum about how children can help in their families. it hit me.

- should not be too critical, avoid complaining (must lessen my critical mode...or atleast try to be more tactful with my comments!)
- words i should say and mean more:
THANK YOU
PLEASE
I LOVE YOU
HOW CAN I HELP?

as for the other things i've learned...will apply it when i become a mom and a wife ;) having a family mission statement is synergizing =p

as for today, i helped facilitate, along with my fellow strainers, the Ninoy and Cory Aquino Center for Leadership 1st Year Anniversary. I learned a lot from the talks and more over from the group sharing me and Jeffy Chan Chan (Chan-Chan-Chan Chan Chan Chan...in the tune of the Banana song =p) were in-charge of. Haha and there was a cute participant as well who winked at me =p many points that struck me, some of them are as follows:

-Leadership: the essence of leadership stems from Hope and Optimism in people =)
- Spirituality. I have to agree the prayers are powerful. It's also important to reflect.
-Passion with Vision, Excellence with Meaning
~ Have you ever loved something so much that you're willing to die for it?
- Leadership is not in the position its in the role (Maxwell); Leadership does not stop when your term as an officer stops

FAITH, HOPE and LOVE.

coolness to the max =)
i'm on a high...
i hope this moves me to be better.

i'm ignited.
i'm inflamed.
i'm called.
i...

many issues. many things i want to say to some people.

terribly missing Sandy. I wish I could be with her. She just called me up a while ago because she was freaking out. My mom and dad weren't around. Cathy accompanied Anne to the hospital and she's confined. Ate Jack is somewhere probably in Teachers' camp. Poor little baby is all alone at our home in Baguio with our maid. I hate this distance (literally!) within our family. I want to be with them but I have to be a student.

totally harassed today. what a way to start the day? got back to Manila at 5am alone. Anne went back to Baguio at the first stop since she had a bad tummyache. She left her stuff with me. I was carrying around 7 bags when I got down Victory liner. My t68 was low batt. I realized I left my 6230 in the bus because of all the other stuff I was carrying. Such a long day and a long story but I want to say I'm still grateful. I'm blessed. I got my phone back. I was able to cram my paper for Educ33 and my homework for Psy108! (tsk...better stop this "sabog" mode.) I saw a friend and I bought Magis =p

haha i told myself i would stop writing personal stuff here in my blog. i can't help it. it's just plain therapeutic. plus i want to record things in order for me to remember and it would be nice to reminisce. anyways, i don't think a lot of people are reading this. =p

ok, time to read!

anxious

i had a nightmare last night.
i'm not sure if it's because of all the hypnosis thing
or my issues.
it was freaky.
i was talking to voices.
it was noisy.
i was confused.
then i felt something/someone very heavy sitting on top of me.

i can't remember what we were talking about.

i slept in the other room because i couldn't take it.
still heard a few muffled sounds but it was outside.

i just wish i knew what i'm going to do...

labo

am i two-faced?
or just ironic?
im happy and yet angry
i'm optimistic but i can be cynical.
oh well, i'm just normal.

subconscious is that you?

tried hypnosis again. i think it's fun =p
but my sisters are starting to get freaked out with me.

oh well, it's just so exciting to know another part of yourself.

i did the yes-no thing with my hands.
weird questions with "i'm still in denial answers."

habla con tiago didn't happen.
i realized i don't know what to say
(or i just don't want to talk and i just want to remain immature.)
besides, he didn't seem to want to talk...
he might just be feeling the same way about confrontation.

so hard. it always shows up! from all the "hula"baloo i've had.
i'm not sure if i'm the one connecting it all up.
but it's always like that.
why can't you just be one person?

i love you. i do.
whom am i refering to?!

weird but insightful

=) i've been thinking (i always do actually..to the point that some people think i over-analyze) but this kind of thinking is different, i think. haha

it's like I'm just talking to myself (ok fine, some people claim that I do, i don't deny it) but it's more of me having this reflective side.

sometimes i admit, my emotions get the best of me but i'm glad i realize the faults of my actions immediately. i've realized that i'm not quite as "perfect" (well, actually..i don't think i am, far from it) or to rephrase it not as easy to get along with as i thought i was. or am i just analyzing too much? please...tell me if i am! i need feedback =p i realized that i should be more patient and understanding (especially to my sister who really gets to me with her clingyness...sobrang selosa! and all... and to think i'm the type who probably needs more personal space) since I think other people are also trying to be patient and understanding with me. After all we are all different and we should strive to see things in a bigger picture...

different strokes for different folks, like what the saying talks about... i'm learning a lot from the different people i'm with (especially my thesis buddies!) although i admit sometimes i get frustrated because i don't think we accomplish a lot of things during our overnights and meetings (because we usually end up talking..hehe about guys! or relationships....) I'm grateful I have them for my friends. They may not be perfect. We may have lots of differences in personalities and perspectives but I appreciate how we sincerely care for each other. RD and Hanniebee are so fun to be with...I've gained lots of insights from them. We all love tea! haha how weird is that? =p and we have pochi, baby bear and dave with us!

i just hope i could be that open to my sister. i will try more ;)

the feeling of being flamed with new insights feels good. (not that going to the gym isn't! =p it's fun! )

ok, i'll stop talking to myself now and work!

there are other things i have been thinking recently but i don't have time to write. I'll just summarize it in a few sentences.

~ I feel like I'm turning into a dinosaur! =p it's just weird. I'm becoming a senti strainer making the most out of what i have. Am I a masochist that I still dwell? Parting is such sweet sorrow.

~ Habla con Tiago...haha I have to talk to him. The awkwardness is killing me. I miss him without all the complications (or is it just me making this complications in my mind?!)

~ Blessed be. I just pray that you'll have a good life. It was good while it lasted.

~ Forever Angel. I'll always be proud to be like you. I'll continue on praying for you. Don't worry. I'll always remember. I love you.

~ All that I am...All that I have...lala... Praise thee. I pray for our clingy little angel ;)

back to school =) and excited!

this is going to be my last semester in college...

wow.
it's been so fast.
like all good things... never lasts.
time flies when you're having fun.
cliche but true

more than that i've learned so much.

=) looking back, I've changed a lot.
from being the naive freshie that I was
to the more mature senior I think I am.

lots of memories I won't forget
(haha...i'm getting senti again ;))

i've loved and gained a lot.
i've seen and admired the passion of others to serve.
i myself became passionate about serving.
i've cried many times out of frustrations and confusion.
i failed and i recovered.
i nearly died but i survived.
i've never felt so loved by many people.
i'm touched.
i got hurt. i was disappointed. i felt depressed and unstable.
but after all that, i think i'm more mature.
i'm so grateful to all my friends that helped me become who I am right now.
i love my family and i love you guys.
i will always cherish my college life.
=p

enough of this ;p will write something that would make more sense later.